Saturday, November 29, 2008

I am become death.

There are few things in the world I hate more than malls during Christmas*. I've had a history of falling victim to my own misinterpretations of what could be called "normal" mall behaviour by mindless consumers, which, subsequently, has lead me to want to set off a pipe bomb in the busiest sections of West Edmonton Mall**. But that's a whole other story. In fact, I'd more than likely be just as content doing so at Prince George's shining star, the Pine Center Mall***. Only not as content.

Anyway, I had to spend roughly and hour in the mall today. Generally speaking, there are only three reasons I go to the mall:
1. To visit Yeshwa
2. To vandalize the bathroom stalls
3. To see if there is any yarn worth stealing at Zellars.

Other than that, I usually have no reason to set foot in there. But, everytime I do go there, there is a new reason to be disgusted with people and want to wash myself in bleach. On my last visit, my blood boiled for one reason: Christmas Shopping.

SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE? Everyone at the mall today (minus my friend Jon I ran into who was buying a phone from Josh) are my official fuck that(those) guy(s) of the holiday season. But don't worry, that's subject to change because Christmas fucking pisses me off. You know what, fuck it, I can have multiple fuck that guys per entry, so I declare the prick who owns Pine Center my other official Fuck that guy of the day.

I just had to get that off of my chest. Now that that's over with, here's a photo for everyone's enjoyment. So please, enjoy!

Author's Notes:

*Whacky fundamentalists aside...
**I aint no terrorists, and I'm not going to bomb no mall. Or anything for that matter.
***Not even this one.

1 comment:

She said...

Don't forget all the energy-consuming lights and ridiculous parading of the Santa Claus icon (which was created by Coca-Cola).

Yesterday I took my boyfriend's dog for a walk downtown, only to be scared shitless (me & the dog) by a ten-minute parade of INDUSTRIAL VEHICLES decorated with lights and shiny shit run by generators. It stank of pungent exhaust fumes, so me & the dog high-tailed it, so to speak. Yet people were lining the streets with children in mittened hands, running around, panting, inhaling the carcinogenic stuff that's destroying Mother Earth.

Merry fucking xmas indeed.

(Malls make me nervous too man, I symathize)

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