Thursday, December 20, 2007

No phone, no pool, no pets, ain't got no cigarettes

Christmas is soon, Nutcracker has started and thus, a barrage of tiresome rehearsals and awkward 20 minute snack breaks. I still need to go Christmas shopping, but between work and symphony I have no time, so we'll see how this goes.

Big plans for recording have been suggested, and it's got me excited. I haven't been excited about music in a long time, so this is a good sign. I just want Nutcracker to be finished so I can sit down and write. My brother is also writing a short story, and I'm really excited for him too. I'd been in a real rut all through the fall; a paranoid, agoraphobic type rut, where I was afraid of highways, children, the elderly, sudoku puzzles, movies with Joe Pesci, and sex because somehow, they all reminded me of my mortality. But, I feel like that's somehow passed. My feet are getting itchy again, I can't wait for summer, and travelling. But, at the same time, I'm happy with the snow.

50's music ftw.

Also, I'm stil bitter about not getting to ride on the water slides. Brunch and swimming at Ester's Inn has been suggested, but I doubt it will smooth things over. Oh well.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Hey Shopkeeper can you help me, please.

Bazooko Circus is what the whole
hep world would be doing Saturday
night if the Nazis had won the war.
This was the Sixth Reich.



On Friday, Josh and I embarked on a journey to Edmonton to play a show at the Blackspot Cafe. Driving his Mom's gutless '99 civic, with no music save for radio and five Wilco albums, filled to capacity with our meager possessions, we forged east through mountains and plains to play a completely unpromoted show to an audience of roughly 10 (including the venue staff...only four people paid to get in).

But that's all okay, because like any great adventure, a lot of other great stuff happened. And of course, greatness came not as a result of our reason for leaving, but of the things we encountered on the way.

Condition on the way there were nice, and the drive was pleasant and uneventful...until we reached Edmonton and I realized forgot our itinerary at home, and had no idea what hotel we were staying at. After realizing that going to every hotel downtown with the words "Inn" in the name, and asking if I had a reservation wasn't going to work, I bit the bullet and called home to get all the information.

We checked into our hotel, drove to the venue (which was located next door to two sex shops, and directly beneath a "massage" parlour) played our show, made $28, and went out for drinks with two of our friends from Edmonton. We went to White Ave, and proceeded to a bar that was a lot like Sgt's, where some scary bar patron made a scene about charging his cell phone, and then grabbed Josh's crotch and winked at him. We left shortly after, and retreated to our hotel.

We had big plans for our second day in Edmonton. They involved going to music stores, trying out fancy equipment, and then going to West Edmonton Mall and playing on water slides.

Now, let me be frank. I hate West Edmonton Mall. I've been there only a few times, and have hated every second of it. So much so, that I believe I suppressed traumatizing memories of it from previous visits, which caused me to think it was tolerable to be in, and thus allowed me to convince myself to go there again.

But it'd be worth it for the water slides, just for them, and them alone. I could brave the American Dream, the huddled masses, the smell, the Christmas music, the frightened caged animals on display for public enjoyment, the scary salesman popping out of trap door kiosks trying to get me to sell myself for whatever peddling sell phone credit card insurance scam they're pushing. I could stand watching corpulent patrons eating sugary treats while waddling down some fabricated version of Bourbon St. with giant multi-faced porcelain jesters, enforcing some sort of brainwashing technique on every man woman and child that sets foot in that horrible place. I'd resist the urge to throw a baby carriage into the sea lion pen, or spit in the face of every elderly person I cross paths with, or punch ANYONE who carelessly bumps into me, or steps on my toes without so much as an apology or nod or even recognition of my existence despite having made slight physical contact with them, or curb stomp with no regard if someone makes so much as eye contact with me, or appears to be smiling, or happy, or to some degree not ill at ease for being in such a giant hell hole. I'd be able to maintain composure before completely degrading to some wild beast, unable to speak properly, my eyes glazed over and glossolalia being the only audible noise from my foaming mouth. I wouldn't wind up being another taser related casualty when mall security can't contain me, and police have to become involved after I climb onto the pirate ship and start urinating all over anyone who gets below me. It wouldn't happen, because I wouldn't allow it to get to that. I would maintain my calm.


Nearly. Before even setting foot in the mall, I was already sick of it. Probably burned $10 in fuel, and 30 minutes just trying to find a god damned parking spot. Then, as soon as I set foot in the mall, my pulse increased from a normal 70 bmp to something close to 120. A cold sweat set in, and my breathing became shallow and loud. My immediate instinct was to run full speed, darting wilding from side to side as a safety precaution, but I realized it was wiser to not make a scene.

We had three priorities:
1) buy shorts for swimming in.
2) find the water park and go swimming
3) leave as fast as we can

Avoiding any trendy stores, or places that were playing loud irritating music, we spent what felt like no less than 40 minutes trying to find a cheap store in which we could buy swimming shorts. After finally finding a Zellers, we spent $20 on two pairs of shorts. After getting lost repeatedly, and picking up a map, getting confused by the map, and then figuring the map out, we sort of figured out where we were. We had to walk towards the pirate ship, which was at the opposite end of the mall as the ice rink, which at that moment had a giant Zamboni smoothing out the ice (I fantasized running over several people and smashing through a wall with it but I calmed myself) turn towards the food court, walk around the flamingo cage, and then descend an escalator, into the pool entrance. Where we learned that it would cost $30 per person to go on the water slide, plus an additional $7 each to have a locker.

Talling up our expenses for this waterslide expedition, we would have had to spend over $95. Considering we made a total of $28 at our show the previous night, we both admitted defeat and walked away. At this point, I was so agitated by being in the mall, that I was literally ready to punch the next motherfucker who touched me. Or spit in their face. Or both. Or just push them over, and them kick them and spit on them and tell them what a fool they are for allowing themselves to be seen in a place such as this. But we didn't have time for that. We had to return out shorts, find exit #56, get to our car, and leave this place alive.

We got to Zellers, waited in line for ten minutes, only for them to tell us we had to go to customer service downstairs to makes returns, went downstairs, waited in line for another ten minutes, got our money back, and started for the exits.

Now the one thing about this mall that I both love and hate, is that it's damned near impossible to find your way out of there. I hated it because it prolonged my exposure to the mall, but I rest assured that if there is any sort of disaster, or fire, or terrorist attack, or if the roof collapses, or there's a tragic gas leak, or explosion, or flood, that a great many people in the mall wouldn't be able to escape, and many more would probably be trampled in the frenzy to try and find an exit. Ideally, it would resemble the L.A. riots.

In the time it was taking us to find the appropriate exit, I was getting more and more agitated. I think Josh sensed this because as I was reaching my breaking point, he started to singing obnoxiously, bought me a tasty cinnamon bun treat thingy that wound up smeared over both our faces, and we sang and danced our way out of the mall, into our car, and out of that hell hole into freedom.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Fuck Fox News.

They're kind of pricks.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

So that's where Dunster is....

Tomorrow I will be embarking on my second trip to Dunster, to preform in the Robson Valley Music Festival. As you may or may not recall, I wrote an entry about my trip there last year. This years trip will be under different circumstance, not only because I'll be performing in my band, but also because I now have a vague idea what I'm in for. My travel mates, Josh and Mitch, however, do not. Do not fear, Mitch, all will be well. I anticipate a fun weekend, and perhaps a little detour to Mount Robson for some more camping fun. Pictures, of course, will be taken and showcased for all to enjoy.

Wooo roadtrip fun yay!

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

July 2nd - Grande Prairie

So on Monday, July 2nd, our tour began. We left PG pretty early in the morning, but not early enough that we didn't feel the impending heat that would nearly kill us later that day. You see, Josh's heater was broken....which wouldn't be so bad....if it wasn't broken in such a way that it only let out corpulent amounts of HEAT. So we had a long sticky drive to Grande Prairie. The drive itself was nice, the weather was pretty and the scenery was nice. It got a bit dry in Alberta, but that's flatlands for you I guess.

Upon arriving in GP, Josh was really confused at the sideways street lights, so we stopped in at a Costco and took samples because we were hungry. We killed a bit of time, went to a resteraunt that was playing terrible music and had waitresses with several fresh, visable bruises, and made our way to the venue, Better than Fred's.

Better than Fred's sort of scared us at first....you see, it's a sports bar....that almost bordered on a biker bar....it was dimly lit, was full of pool tables, and had a haze of smoke all around, because they were allowed to smoke in there. I half expected to see a screen of chicken wire in front of the stage to protect the musicians from the audience, but there was none to be found. We talked to the promoter, made some demands, and then ate some good old fashioned pub food.

Shortly after, we met up with the other band that we were playing with-Eccentric Brain Trick- and they seemed really excited about the show, and invited us to jam with them on one of their songs (me on cello, Josh on guitar). This started to sort of smooth over our worries, but there was still a bit of apprehension going on. I guess we maybe just had jitters with it being the first show of the tour, scary town, whatever.

So it was decided, since we were the out of town act, and an acoustic one at that, that we should play first. We hit the stage, nervously look over the pool tables and dimly lit booths that housed our audience, and began to play. To our immense surprise, the crowd didn't throw things at us. They infact, received us very well. We sold several of our CD's, and had some strange but interesting conversations with some of the bar patrons. (One of which wrote Josh and I a poem during our set). We also met this really cool guy named Stacy, who I unfortunately didn't have a chance to really talk to, but he was also a musician and gave us his CD. The other band also played a really tight set.

So after the show, we packed up, got paid, put fuel in the car (at a sketchy gas station where I saw some crazy cracked out native guy attack some poor slightly more cracked out old man in the parking lot) and hit the road....at 2 am....expecting to find somewhere to sleep somewhere along the road to Edmonton. We drove down many a dead end road that promised campsites to no avail. We finally drove down an old dirt road that finally came to a campsite. But something about it just didn't seem right. Maybe it was cause it was dark, and maybe I'm too parinoid, but something about the place just rubbed me the wrong way.

We drove around for a while, down a narrow dirt road lined with skinny aspen trees that refused to let any light pentrate into what lay behind them, circling around the campsite, passing by empty camp buildings and outhouses. We reached a sort of dead end, and started to turn the car around. It was at this point that I was starting to get concerned that the car might get stuck, and we'd be stranded alone, left to get hunted down by whatever hill billy backwoods murderers obviously inhabited this campsite.

Finally my nerves get to me and I say "Josh...does it bother you that there doesn't seem to be anyone around here...?" He paused and then thanked me for officially making him creeped out too, so we left. It was getting really really really late, so late that we could see the light of dawn branching out from the eastern horizon. By the time we found a less creepy, more suiteable campsite, it was started to get light out. So we set up the tent, discovered we only had one sleeping bag, and tried to sleep while one of our fellow campers kids cried loudly the entire night. Needless to say we didn't sleep terribly well. So the next day, we arose early, and departed for our next tour date....

....Edmonton!

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Everyone you know is going to be fucked up on the Aribtrarys

Sorry for not updating in a while, but I've had a very busy week. With recording having just wrapped up, and a tour looming, I haven't had much time to sit down at a computer. But, as a result, I have many many interesting things to write about.

Last week had Josh and I each making a last minute entry into this year's Folkquest competition. The rules stated that the competition is for individuals, and bands, duos and other such performance groups need not apply. This put us in a bit of a tight spot, seeing as how all of my music is written with Josh, I was sent an e-mail from the festival co-ordinator asking me to apply. There was a catch though, each performer was allowed an accompanist. So it was decided that Josh and I would each make an application. We'd just perform together as one another's accompanist.

So still being a duo, but technically not, we anticipated a certain amount of backlash. The day before the performance an e mail was sent out to an undisclosed amount of performers in the competition stating that it was strictly for individuals, not groups, and that an accompanist was allowed. So Josh and I started to worry.

So we get to Artspace, and I have a pounding headache. It went away after Josh and I pretty much ate half of the enormous fruit platter they had backstage for us performers. We also found out the e mail was probably directed at Gavin Elder and Scott Dunbar, who wanted to enter as a duo, but weren't allowed. We at first didn't really expect too much, and told all of the event co-ordinators that we had to leave immediately after playing so that we could make it to our next show, at Sgt's. They seemed fine with this, and helped cater when we played so that we could make it to Sgt's on time.

So we played our set, and the croud seemed very happy. The other performers all congratulated us, and I even did a bit of networking (lots of people apparently want cello in their songs). We prepared to run off, but the emmcee stopped me and said "hey...can you put me on the guest list at Sgt's...just in case you guys happen to win, so I can tell you?" Inside I'm laughing to myself thinking it's not even a chance, so I say of course, and then run off to Sgt's.

I get there and immediately start drinking. We watched Versus, a rap group, perform their set, and then we hit the stage. The croud wasn't huge, but they were friendly, and we started our set. We played pretty loose, but it was all just fun. About halfway through our set, these people came into Sgt's. They seemed not like anyone else in the room. They were middle aged, well dressed, sober, and seemed really excited to see us. After we finished the song we were on, they came up to us with huge smiles on their faces and said

"You guys won! You both won folkquest!"

The emmcee from Folkquest came in a few minutes later, with a certificate for come studio time, and words of congratulations. So of course, having learned we were victorious, and after a lot of cheering, we finished our set, and commenced with celebrating.

After that, we drove to Smithers on the weekend, and played a festival, took in a little camping, and wrapped up recording and mixing of our EP.

Tuesday morning, we were on CBC radio, and did an interview and live performance. It was fun, and slightly awkward.

Today, we're going to be on PGTV news, with an interview/performance. This might also be awkward, but for many different reasons.....

On Monday we leave for tour.

AND my insurance claim came through and I got a sweet cash settlement.

AND my stitches are out, and my arm is healing well

AND I have a new toy. A pentax D100.

Pretty exciting times, to say the least.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Suture Contusions




+




=

One helluva story.




Don't worry, it's okay, I only got 15 stitches. I'm more worried about the psychological damage inflicted on Tess and Danny for the guilt associated with nearly taking my arm off at a house party. That's not even the best part, though. My dad actually thought I fabricated this to hide the fact that my injury is in fact a failed suicide attempt.

Truth is always stranger than fiction I suppose.

Monday, June 04, 2007


Thursday, May 31, 2007

They're just jealous 'cause we're young and in love...


So practically as soon as I got home from Victoria, I had to pack my things in preperation for another journey down south. This time, Chantal and I drove down to see Brand New and Anathallo play. The results? A great drive, getting yelled at by Charles Manson's twin brother, a great concert, a lot of sweat, and a lot of fun.

Also, these:



On the drive down, Chantal and I were making ridiculously good time, so we took a break at the Alexandria Bridge, and went adventuring. We got to Vancouver at around 4 pm, so I decided we should go down town, and went into a music shop that was supposed to carry electric cellos.

After being horribly dissapointed at their staff (they couldn't figure out that it needed batteries to function, and when they DID figure that out, it took them like half an hour to realise the battery terminals were corroded and wouldn't work, even though I spent the entire time explaining it to them) and their lack of selection of electric cellos (they only had one and it was crappy and wouldn't work) we made our exit, and tried to find out way to the place we were staying at.

Somehow, Tel and I managed to not get lost at all while we were in Vancouver, due to Tel's gentle nature, and my keen sense of direction. So, we managed to find out way to Diondra's cousin's house, without even using maps or asking scary people on the street for directions.

We got to our temporary place of residence, just off of Main St, and went for a little walk. On this walk, we passed by some interesting sights:

Robots:

Infront of a Barber Shop:

NEAT?!

Amusing name?

I was also accosted by a Charles Manson look alike who saw us laughing at his resemblence to Charles Manson. He turned to me and spoke:

"WHY DON'TCHA SUCK OFF YA BITCH"

In response, we fled.

The day after that, Marcy arrived, and we adventured with here, and Japandrew. For some reason I took few pictures on this adventure save for these:

More belt buckles for Josh again:

Also, these:






These particular pictures are from a tattoo/piecing parlour on Granville (I think, I can't remember for sure) They had a lot of interesting artwork, so I took some pictures for Tess.


After that, we arrived at the concert about an hour early, and heard them soundchecking Luca. It was wonderful. The show was spectacular, and afterwards, Chantal, Marcy, Michelle, Nate, and I all went out for pizza!





Tel and I drove home the next morning. We wound up taking the scenic route, because I got disoriented downtown, and wound up heading towards to Stanley Park. At that point I was too lazy to turn around, and we drove home through Pemberton. It was beautiful.

Victoria!

so my trip to Victoria was one of whirlwinds and fun. I left at around 9 in the morning, drove the all the way to Cache Creek without stopping, and then all the way to the ferry without break.

It was nice driving alone. At first I was a bit lonely, and spent the whole time remembering things that had happened on that road on previous trips with other people, but I soon just spent all my time just thinking in general. It was nice having that much time to think by myself.

I also smoked a lot. I had a system where I'd start feeling tired, so I'd smoke a cigarette, the I'd feel gross so I'd chew some bubble gum, but it'd soon lose flavour so I'd spit it out, then I'd feel tired again so I'd grab a cigarette....you can kind of see where this is going. Don't worry, Josh gave me shit when I got home, and I don't really like smoking anyway...

But enough of that!! On to pictures!!

The Drive

My Steed:


Inside my steed?


A view from my steed:



Socials 10?


The ocean:


The ferry ride:






It was so incredibly nice to be near the ocean again, I can't even explain it. I didn't realise how much I missed it til I saw it again. The ferry ride was perfect.

The thing about ferries, is it's hard to smoke on the viewing deck, but it's the only place you're allowed to smoke. I felt really awkward, because the only place I could get enough shelter to light a match in, was a small nook with a window to the cafeteria. So people inside, who were smart and eating and not smoking would see me awkwardly holding my jacket collar up, feebly trying to light a match without it blowing out or catching my hair on fire. But it was nice aside from that. As the pictures can attest, it was a beautiful sunset on the boat.

Once I got off the ferry, I got really disoriented and took about an hour to get to Marcy's house, even though it should have taken maybe 20 minutes. After a lot of guidance on Marcy's part, and a lot of me taking wrong turns because roads in Victoria miraculously change names at random, I arrived in one peice. I enjoyed a delicious meal prepared by Marcy's Dad's friend, and then drifted off to sleep, without a care in the world...
...except my looming audition...

But enough of that! More pictures!

Fun with friends:

(Marcy <3)


Alycia and I..!


Again with Alycia and I...she has the perfect pose for any picture:


Things I thought looked cool:

Me trapped in a fishbowl?



For Josh:



Best street sign EVER!!



The Sunset







The evening:

Moss Rock:


Marcy's friend:


My illegal beach fire:


The last night in Victoria was wonderful. Marcy and I bought some Thai food, sat on a beach, and watched the sunset while we ate dinner. Then we picked up her friend Greg, drove to some pointe, and built a fire. It was wonderful and pretty. My audition being the next morning at 10, I woke up at 6, drove to the ferry port and went home. On the drive home, I ran into Michala at Chache Creek, and drove her the rest of the way home. I was then going to collapse asleep at home, but I stopped at Josh's house to give him some sheesha that I'd bought. He coaxed me into staying til around 1, and then I drove home and thought I was going to die I was so tired. I slept good that night. It was a fun trip.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

They said 'You'd better look alive...'

SUMMER!!!!! I'm so excited right now it's not even funny. Being outside in the sunshine is the best feeling in the world that I managed to completely forgot about somehow. Recording is also fun. So are bicycles, not paying for coffee, and baking pies during rain storms. I feel like I've really neglected this weblog the last month or two, so hopefully very soon I'll post a large entry on Victoria-Audition/Vancouver-Brand New adventures. They'll have lots of pictures. Also, pie adventure pictures. I love having a digital camera, I can't beleive I went so long without one.

So in my desperation at how much fuel costs, I've started riding my bike as much as I can. I rode it to one of my guitar lessons today. They seemed horrified for my well being when they noticed I had a bike at their door. I like bike riding though. I really missed being more active. The winter made me a weakling. Last summer, I was so much physically stronger than I am now. I don't even want to attempt running half as far as I was able to, or doing push ups? Yeah right. I tried about a month ago, and I did them for four days. By day four I psyched myself up enough that I could do like 30 in a set, and then I felt accomplished and stopped trying after that.

Been doing lots of walking too though. Pretty much walk the same circuit every day, from Josh's house to Starbucks/Tim Hortons/Booster Juice/whereever happens to be open when we go walking, and back. It's a pretty good distance I guess. Nice to pound the pavement again.

Also good to be recording again. Next week we have a show, we should have an album out before the summer really gets rolling, and we are in the midst of planning a tour. Life is good. I guess.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Salvador Dali on

Pure gold. You can thank Chris for showing me this.

Monday, April 30, 2007

...and the silver spoon...

Last night, I realised I have another inane skill that benefits no one: I can play cat's cradle without a partner, by using my fingers cooperatively to perform tricky maneuvers. So much dexterity going to waste.

In 9 days I'll be embarking on a journey with Chantal to Vancouver to see the band Brand New. This will be my fourth time this year driving down south. It will also be the second time in my car, which is, at the moment, immaculately clean. Armor-all does wonders, really. It'll be my first road trip with Tel, and her first with anyone other than family, so it's guaranteed to be a fun adventure.

Til then, I have one more symphony concert to perform in, and at some point, Josh and I are to start recording our album. Probably sometime this week. Also, planning of a tour is fitting somewhere in there too. Busy busy busy! How exciting!

So, until next time, entertain yourself with this ridiculous looking fish:

Friday, April 27, 2007

AHHH




I have glasses now. For reading. They're hard to get used to, and now I feel dizzy.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Last Night...

I figure it was the steak. Or maybe following two long island ice teas with coffee. Or a mix of all three. I'm not sure. But last night, I had a really strange dream. It wasn't strange in that odd things happened in it. It was strange in that everything that could have gone well, did go well. And it all went well in such a way that didn't seem ludicrous. It just seemed right. It was such a good dream that I didn't realize I was dreaming until I woke up. I was so disappointed I thought I could have cried, but of course didn't. It was so strange.

Anyway, so I figure my being a serious vegetarian is in it's death throws. I don't mind, really, I just need to get used to eating meat again. On Friday I ate lamb. Saturday was for chicken. Last night involved a small piece of bacon, a chicken strip and a new york steak. What will today bring? Who knows...!?

So pretty soon I will post pictures and other such things from my Victoria adventure. Until then you should all read my brother's blog: http://kyletookabulletforme.blogspot.com

Enjoy!

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Victoria, ho!!!

It's currently 1 am, and by 9 30 tomorrow morning I plan to be on the road to Victoria. This wouldn't be so bad if I was actually ready for sleep RIGHT THIS SECOND, but as it stands I'm putting off driving home, as I lazily play on Josh's computer because he's boring and fell asleep. I hope he reads this.

Being unable to afford a plane ticket, but needing to be in Victoria by midday Wednesday, has forced me to embark on this trip earlier, and with more stress, than I had previously intended. I'll also be leaving my house sitting duties one day early. Hopefully I'll still get paid.

Given how many of their pets I have managed to kill, and the fact that their neighbors seemed so concerned for their dog's safety that they graciously offered to take them off of my hands for a day, leads me to believe that if I do get paid, odds are they won't ask me back....though I hope they let me keep teaching guitar.

Whatever, I have an audition, and a solo road trip to worry about. Wish me luck on my travels, dear readers. Hopefully if/when I return, I will have many a gallant tale to tell. Obviously I will, with Marcy and Alycia being there. Plus I get to ride on a boat!!!!

But first things first...I need to fit about 8 hours of sleep into a 6 hour time frame...oh boy.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Death toll: 2

In one week I have an audition for music school I'm going to bomb I think, but eeven if I get accepted I don't even know if I'm going to attend. Tonight there's a symphony concert that's going to sound terrible because our regular conductor has a gig in Hamilton, and the concert master is conducting instead. It sounds terrible, and we haven't actually made it through Copelands "Apalacian Spring" ONCE without stopping because everyone's fucking up something.

I suck at house sitting. Two of their pets have died, though only one of their deaths may be my fault (can you over feed gold fish? Because I sort of dropped like three tablespoons of fish food into their tank by accident the other day, and they's only supposed to get two "pinches" of food a day.....) The other dead one is a degu, and it got mauled by this ugly dog that I was looking after for one of their neighbours because they asked me if I would do that before they left and I said a'ite. I was half awake and confused when I realised what had happened, so in my sleep-deprived-induced state of quasi inebriation, I called Josh to help me figure out what to do. He helped me find the surviving degu, and then proceeded to fall sleep on the couch after I made him toast.

The ugly dogs gone now, and I buried the degu in the back yard, but his friend appears to be very sad, and afraid. He spends a lot of time running on his big squeeky wheel and sitting in a nest he's made.

The fish also started to cannibalise the dead one. It was half skeleton by the time I picked it out of the fishtank, using a fork that's now sitting in the sink. Also, the dogs smell bad.

I got my class 5 drivers licence yesterday, and I don't have picture ID for a week, and I'm worried I won't be able to fly to my audition without picture ID so I'll probably have to drive, but that means I'll have to leave the house I'm house sitting at a few days before they come home. How weird is that. I seriously severely severely need a stiff drink, but I don't have picture ID so I can't buy booze. Shucks.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

The more you know...

Were you aware that if your glovebox is broken, ICBC won't allow you to take your road test?

...neither was I.


Also, everyone (especially my brother) should watch this:

White People/Black People

Saturday, March 31, 2007

NEATO?!

Did you know that if you google search "OMFG STEAM R0X0RZ TEH BIG ONE111!" my blog is the first thing google comes up with? I learned this from some random person who did this, and was nice enough to leave a comment on my blog. What a nice fellow/lady.

Friday, March 30, 2007

I love CBC...

This week, I've been listening to 90.3 on the radio dial constantly, and I've heard some really amazing music. Last Saturday, they had a two hour special on Motown (it was part one. The second installment is tomorrow afternoon) and the same day, they aired a live performance of the Marriage of Figaro. On Monday, as I was driving to my guitar lesson I was treated to a marvellous performance of the first movement of Rachmanninov's Second Piano Concerto.

This morning, however, took the cake. I came upstairs, put on the kettle to make some tea, and was treated to this. The Fantasy Overture, quite possibly the most famous of all Romantic compositions. Arguably the height of romantacism. It made me so ridiculously excited to hear this peice. The symphony performed it in September, and it made me vicariously relive the excitement of performing it.

It was a good morning. Listen to CBC, guys.

This scares me though. As much as I try to deny it to myself, this music has really gotten under my skin. I can't help but stand in awe and appreciate it for it's sheer brilliance. Every week I turn into more of a pompous music snob. I hate myself. But I love this music...

And now for your viewing pleasure, a plane crash:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=VYjIx7ELFAg

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Post Mortem

My legs hurt. We made it to the top...after walking 7/8ths of the way up. The first 1/8th we ran. I dissapointed Mitch I think. I'm a failure in every respect. But we ran all the way down, pretty much. Not much of an acheivement, but I'm impressed. It was also cold. So cold. But then Ally served us coffee, and Mitch nearly choked to death on banana loaf, that was masquerading as banana bread. FUCK YOU LOAF!! TRYING TO KILL MITCH.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Wish me luck...

Tonight at 6, Mitch and I are partaking in an epic adventure that may lead to both of our deaths. If we die, then I demand that Tess hold a wake in our honor. I am now going to write my last will and testament on my blog. I'm writing this at my mom's office, and shes' a lawyer, so I'm pretty sure that makes this legit:

LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT

THIS IS THE LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT of me, Naomi Lee Kavka, born in the City of Comox, British Columbia, on February 28th, 1988, and currently of a random house I’m house sitting in College Heights, in the City of Prince George, in the Province of British Columbia, Canada.
At the time I signed this Last Will and Testament, I was of sound and disposing mind and memory. I was not acting under the unreasonable or undue influence of any person at the time I signed this Last will and Testament.

I make, publish and declare this instrument to be my Last Will and Testament ("Will") . By signing this document, I revoke any and all former Wills or Codicils, previously made by me, if such documents existed prior to the signing of this Last Will and Testament.

1. I declare that I am currently single.

2. In anticipation of the possibility that I marry in the future (so within the next four hours? I doubt it), I wish to further declare that I intend the testamentary disposition set out in this Will to remain intact and unchanged.

3. I APPOINT Jeremy to be the Executor and Trustee of this Will. I hereinafter refer to my Executor and Trustee as my Trustee and the expression "Trustee" shall mean and include the Executor or Executors and the Trustee or Trustees for the time being hereof whether original, additional or substituted.

4. In the event that Jeremy Kavka predeceases me or is, for any reason whatsoever, either unable or unwilling to act as my Trustee, I APPOINT Chantal to be my first alternate Trustee.

5. I GIVE all my property of every nature and kind and whatsoever situate, save and except for the following bequests:

6. All my musical instruments, including, but not limited to, my Yamaha acoustic guitar, Ibanez AXS 32112312 something or other electric guitar, fretless Fender Jazz Bass, Fender Aerodyne Jazz Bass, cello, harmonicas, juice harp, talk box, melodica, two hammer mini dulcimier to Josh. I also endow royalty rights to all songs written and recorded up until the point of my death. Any songs released after, in a Tupac type fashion are also cool with me. You should also take all your CD’s back before the hoards (see article 9) claim them.


7. To my brother, Jeremy, I give you my role as favorite child. Big shoes to fill, I know, but I think you can handle it. Oh, and you can have my car. Treat her well. Or sell her, because I think the transmissions going.

8. To my wife, Chantal, I give you all of my life savings. And all your Cure CD's back.

9. All of my Hunter S. Thompson and Salvador Dali memorabilia are to be given to Tess. Feel free to rifle through my stuff and take anything else you find cool. I also give full rifling rights to Marcy, Chantal, Jeremy, my parents, and anyone else I’m on good terms with (you know who you are) in that order.


10. I direct that my funeral expenses shall be paid by my Trustee as soon as practicable after my death. Bury me not in the lonesome prairie.


Initials of Witness: JK
Initials of Witness: KS
Initials of Naomi Lee Kavka: NK



12. Wherein my trustee is referred to in the feminine form it may be substituted for the masculine form in the event that my trustee is unable or unwilling to act and my alternate trustee is to act as my trustee.




IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have to my Will written upon this and the 5 preceding pages of paper, subscribed my name, this Day of March, 2007.

SIGNED, PUBLISHED and DECLARED by
the Testator, Naomi Lee Kavka, as and for her
Last Will and Testament in the presence of us,
both present at the same time, who at her request,
in her presence and in the presence of each other
have hereunto subscribed our names as witnesses.



Naomi Lee Kavka: Naomi Kavka
Darlene D.R. Kavka: Darasdfasdvka
Jeremy Kavka: Jeremy Kavka...............




*************

You'll find Mitch's and my emaciated corpses somewhere along University Hill. Running will be FUN....!!!

Thursday, March 22, 2007

AHHHHHH

Tomorrow I begin a one month saga of house sitting. Due to my parinoid nature and tendancy to assume the worst, I can only assume that will wind up being a comical and most likely tragic affair.

I decided, seeing as how my days will be filled with a whole lot of nothing to do, I'll take up two things:

Jogging and movie watching.

I figure I may as well make the most of not having the risk of wild animals chasing me, and take up running again. Also, I've become a terribly scrawny weakling and I decided that needs to change.

But on top of that, I have accumulated a huge list of movies I have to see. I need to revise the list, because I've knocked a few of the titles off, but it will be a good way to kill time.

On top of that, I'll have to practise audition pieces a lot. For those who don't know, I made an application to UVic's music department. I haven't heard back from them, and am both anxiously awaiting a responce, and dreading it at the same time. My repetoire is quite possibly the most clich├ęd possible. This only really makes sense of you're a classical music snob (which I'm sort of afraid of becoming) but I'll be performing the Prelude of Bach's Cello Suite #1 and Camille Saint Saen's "The Swan" from his "Carnival of Animals". Quite possibly the two most famous cello pieces every written. This is quite unfortunate, because I think they are highly over rated in comparison to the Dvorak Cello Concerto Concerto, or the Debussy Cello Sonata, and of course, the brilliant Saint Saens' Cello Concerto in A minor (ignore the lame slide show, the quality of the performance is spectacular). But because I suck at cello, there's no way I could possibly pull of playing any of those, in this time frame, or given any amount of time really.

Okay, enough of being a music snob on the internet. I have to go for a cello lesson right now and have all my ambitions crushed briskly in my brief half hour lesson.

GO LISTEN TO RACHMANINOV IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY.

Also, please feel free to leave any movie recommendations.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

An important P.S.A.

This morning, I decided that I should educate my readers on the strange and often misundstood practise of trepanation.

Trepanation is the deliberate drilling/cutting/scraping of a whole in the skull. It's an ancient procedure, dating pack to prehistoric times. Skulls found in a burial ground in France that dated back as far as 6500 BCE, were found have trepanation holes. There is also evidence that the individuals who underwent the procedure survived it, and died some time after. It also a common practise among medieval and renaissance doctors. It was used as a treatment for mainy ailments, including headaches, tumors, head injuries, epileptic siezures, insanity, and other problems.

More recently, trepanation has begun to gain popularity as a cure for chronic depression, and many others beleive it is a short cut to enlightenment. A crazy lady in England performed trepanation on herself, using a power drill (Pi anyone?) and filmed it. She survived, and went on to try and run for British parlaiment. Her slogan had something to do with trepanation, and she lost.

In my breif attempt to research trepanation, I came across a few interesting things.

First off:

This is a hippo's skull. NEAT.



Secondly, in reading up on the history of trepanation in Mesoamerica, I came across this:




NEAT.

I wanted to find more pictures of this, but had trouble and gave up.


For further reading on trepanation, check this out:

http://www.bmezine.com/news/people/A10101/trepan/


Accounts of a guy who had trepanation performed on him. Includes vague pictures!


Also, listen to this:


http://jnjmuse.cnei.or.kr/musicbox_2/rhapsody_on_a_theme_by_paganini_op43.mp3


It's Rachmanninoff and it's wonderful.
 
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