Thursday, September 17, 2009

My homework has gin stains on it.

I have a strong disdain over having to take an English composition course this year. Our last class started out with an overview of common grammatical mistakes that I notice and correct everyday in other people's facebook statuses. This class makes me sort of feel like I'm Scott Bakula in Quantum Leap, and he's trapped in the body of a girl in a grade 9 English class, and his job is to keep himself from pulling out her wisdom teeth with a piece of piano string and a door handle.

Here's a list of things I'd rather do than go to class:
  • Give Dick Cheney a vodka enema for $10 000
  • Practise cello
  • Drink myself into an alcohol induced coma
  • Cuddle with Burt
  • Punch Ann Coulter into a coma
  • Rape a comatose Ann Coulter
  • Burn every copy of Twilight (the books, DVDs...everything) and Across the Universe
  • Hug Darcie
  • Make a sandwich
  • Eat said sandwich
Today I had a huge crave on for vietnamese food, but I'm too poor to get any vietnoms. So sad. Especially because I am dishing out $600 to get some work done to my cello because the stupid bridge was never made properly. So long money, hello roomy wallet!


Anonymous said...


Jeremy K. said...

I was going to ask why you didn't want to punch Ann Coulter IN THE FUCKING SOUL!!

(Thank you, Spoony...)

And then I remembered. . .

Locations of visitors to this page