RIP

This is for all of my enlightened friends, and my brother who likes Conan.

Enjoy....

MY GOD

to quote my boss, "This little girl is either totally insane or a genius. Or both."

TIMMY CAN'T CONFESS DUE TO DISABILITY! DOES THAT MEAN HE'LL GO TO HELL?!

I'm reading an awesome book right now called "The Dream of Reason: a History of Philosophy from the Greeks to the Renaissance" In it, the writer explains some aspects of Pythagorean philosophies, including the belief that

"...geometry which is deserving of study is that which at each new theorem, sets up a platform to ascend by, and lifts the soul on high instead of allowing it to go down among [physical objects perceived by the senses] and so become subservient to the common needs of this mortal life."

If that's true, what if you're dyslexic? Makes me think of the dumb catholic man who can't confess his sins. Only with math.

Having said that, I have no fuck that guy of the day. Maybe my rage is finally subsiding.

Holy shit

Hold the fucking phones. I just realized my blog has consistently dropped in posts each year. And my first year of it started halfway through. This has to stop. And not just nonsense posts like this, but actual legit pieces. I suck. But no one reads this anyway so whatever.

So I guess it's 2009 now...

Whatever. I got drunk and did a countdown, no biggie. Now I have bigger fish to fry...Well, not exactly. School starts next week which I am completely not ready for. My amazing atheistmas present for Jeremy didn't arrive, which blows. I promised him I would post a puzzle piece a day from a photo of it, but I can't do it from my work computer, so I will once I get home!!! Paypal is my official fuck that guy of last month. But it's January now, so I'll have to curse someone else's name. I'll just curse New Years Resolutions. Fuck those. I never made them, and people that do are ridiculous.

Merry Atheistmas!

So for Christmas my brother got me the book "The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins. I loved the irony of celebrating an imaginary God's hypothetical son's birthday by getting a book about how he doesn't exist. This morning my good friend/relative/boss Bryndis sent me the link to Bill Maher's new documentary "Religulous" I love Christmas for all the wrong reasons.




...and I got a 120 gig ipod. Life's pretty sweet.

My fuck that guy of the day is every jerk, myself and Yeshwa included, who piled into the mall on boxing day (today). I only wanted new pants. My old pants that I bougth when I was 18 finally wore out and ripped all over the place so I had to. Josh made me buy a TV.





At least it's snowing!!!! YAY!

I am become death.

There are few things in the world I hate more than malls during Christmas*. I've had a history of falling victim to my own misinterpretations of what could be called "normal" mall behaviour by mindless consumers, which, subsequently, has lead me to want to set off a pipe bomb in the busiest sections of West Edmonton Mall**. But that's a whole other story. In fact, I'd more than likely be just as content doing so at Prince George's shining star, the Pine Center Mall***. Only not as content.

Anyway, I had to spend roughly and hour in the mall today. Generally speaking, there are only three reasons I go to the mall:
1. To visit Yeshwa
2. To vandalize the bathroom stalls
3. To see if there is any yarn worth stealing at Zellars.

Other than that, I usually have no reason to set foot in there. But, everytime I do go there, there is a new reason to be disgusted with people and want to wash myself in bleach. On my last visit, my blood boiled for one reason: Christmas Shopping.

SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE? Everyone at the mall today (minus my friend Jon I ran into who was buying a phone from Josh) are my official fuck that(those) guy(s) of the holiday season. But don't worry, that's subject to change because Christmas fucking pisses me off. You know what, fuck it, I can have multiple fuck that guys per entry, so I declare the prick who owns Pine Center my other official Fuck that guy of the day.

I just had to get that off of my chest. Now that that's over with, here's a photo for everyone's enjoyment. So please, enjoy!



Author's Notes:

*Whacky fundamentalists aside...
**I aint no terrorists, and I'm not going to bomb no mall. Or anything for that matter.
***Not even this one.

RAAAAR

Fuck people in love. Including myself. It's the worst idea. It's just a trick to make children. Don't fall for it.

Love is my official fuck that of the century.

NAZIS!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0V7JpgXQvk&NR=1


Here Jeremy, you always wanted to see more Double-ya double-ya two loonie toones cartoons.

Women are stupid and I don't respect them.

Do you know what's worse than punk elitists? Feminists. And do you know what's worse than feminists? People who feel they have to be feminist for you.

If you read my last post, you'll know I was at a punk show on Sunday. What I failed to mention was before the show had started, Grace and I were watching youtube videos with a group of other people waiting for the show to get going. We watched things like the Washington Rap, among other things. But we found out that someone we knew had never heard the wonderfully satirical Jon Lajoie song "Show me your Genitals" In light of this, we found it, plugged our computer into the P.A. and listened with great joy to his mock-mysogynistic masterpiece.

Grace and I sang along gleefully, unaware that apparnetly we were being offensive? Apparently, in a room full of adults, two independant, informed, empowered women can't laugh at this song without being frowned upon. It turns out one of the members of the headlining band were offended at our sense of humour. Now, unless I'm wrong--because I did not hear this first hand, but through an e mail from the promoter which I won't even begin to describe because it was such a farce--it seems that this member of the band, who happens to be a man, found it sad that we would demean ourselves by finding the content of the song funny. When I read this, I nearly puked I found it so funny. If anything, I find his comment mysogynistic. Am I too simple minded to understand why this is offensive? Maybe I should go back into the kitchen and bake me some bisquits and not concern myself with things like IRONY and SARCASM. Pardon me for being sooo offensive to myself. I'm really ashamed that my behaviour was so immature...not.

My Dad has a really great saying that he probably heard from someone else:

"If you can't laugh at yourself, you're the only one."

It's sad that some people can't seem to laugh at anything. At least I can say I've had more than a few laughs today.

So, in closing, would be feminists are my official "Fuck that guy" of the day.

Punk elitists ftw.

So I keep going to punk rock shows with my pal Grace and her dude man Geoff. Anyway, so the other night we were at this show, and Geoff was doing sound check for this lady who was unknown to us.

Now, I mean no disrespect, but this girl was hands down the most disrespectful performer I have ever seen. She was unnecessarily insistent about particulars about her sound (that, in my opinion made no sense). She demanded to just play guitar through her amp, and Geoff insisted micing it, which she insisted would ruin her sound. Geoff insisted that he could make her sound good, and she insisted she didn't want to sound good, she wanted to sound "raw".


Then, [perhaps] verbatim, this is what she said to Geoff: "I don't want some elitist punk kid taking over my sound and telling me what to do"

Pretty fucking bitchy considering Geoff was being the most reasonable sound guy in history.

Anyway, so the night goes on, and Geoff's band is doing their sound check, and this girl decides to interrupt them, and tells them they're doing it wrong. At this point I was completely floored that this n00b would come into a venue these guys have played in since they were 15, and demand they do their sound differently. She said they were too loud, and that they were trying too hard to make themselves seem bigger than they are. (they are a punk band....pretty much) What was funny is Sheldon, The Throwbacks' guitarist, kept calmly talking to her exclusively through a microphone even though she was 5 feet away from him. It was a ridiculous scene.

So that ridiculousness aside, she goes on stage for her set. I'm hoping I'll be completely floored by her performance, so I stand off to the side, ready to snap some photos.

But here comes the kicker. The great punchline to all of this. The first thing she says when she goes on stage:

"Hi guys, I'm new to town and this is my first time playing in front of people."

...

In case you missed it, she not only pushed everyone around about sound engineering, generally tried to cause havoc and displayed a dauntingly huge ego, but...she'd never EVER played before? At all?!

I think this goes without saying, but this lady was my official "fuck that guy" of the day.

Oh, she also got upset when a girl hurt herself moshing (moshing, what?) and proceeded to turn off the sound board and tell the band to stop playing. This ended in a screaming match I unfortunately was not present for.

Those pricks ruin everything....

Whoever owns this Christmas tree farm is my official "Fuck that guy" of the year.

Ughhhhh

Fuck everyone who sits on the fucking CFUR couch and talks like a bunch of douches about douchebaggery.

These people are each my official "Fuck that guy" of the day.

Fuck the drive thru

This angry man who obviously couldn't read a simple sign freaked the fuck out at me today. He took a completely wrong entrance into this drive thru and then got pissed at me when I went in front of him. He drove up beside me and rolled his window down and proceeded to explain how much of a cunt I am, and then forced his way in front of me. His female passenger was also very insistent about my cuntness. They went so far as to tell the manager to give me a hard time. I saw her walk towards their window, so I rolled mine down to listen, and she pretty much told him he went in the wrong entrance and to deal with it. I felt very vindicated and enjoyed my cheese croissant with great pleasure.

He gets my official "Fuck that guy" of the day.

Inlitterati lumen fidei

Fuck the Theologians. They don't know nothing about anything those fucking pricks. I just wrote a paper on Augustine and Aquinas and lets just say I'm a tad bitter because I don't believe a single word either of them said. My brother sent me a great link from Pharyngula's blog, so I'm posting it here in case anyone will read it.

School is going well. I got 5 assignments back and they were all A's so I'm celebrating by doing more homework! As you can plainly see, I'm even more boring than ever before...

Scratch that last post...

People who encourage voting conservative piss me off more :( Sometimes I think there should really be IQ requirements for voting...

People who won't vote piss me off.

I'm sitting on the CFUR couch listening to some guy rant about how he's exercising his democratic right by not voting. He claims hating every party as his excuse. If every asshole who told me they weren't voting would vote against Harper maybe his stupid arts funding cuts WOULDN'T happen. I'm so choked about that. Enough people are stupid enough to either a) vote FOR him or b) NOT vote at all? No wonder North American politics are such a joke. If there two conservative figure heads in power by the end of this year, I will have pretty much lost all faith in this continent. Harper will stop giving artists funding, Sarah Palin will ban homosexuality and abortions and make every woman wear make up, compete in beauty pageants, and shoot fully automatic assault rifles in bikinis, and I'll probably resort to complete hermitude or leave.

haha whoops

So I pretty much suck at keeping up to date with things. Last I checked, we came home from tour in one piece. Though, some of us in different vehicles. It was a fun trip for the most part. Shit really hit the van on our way to Vancouver when our van broke down and someone we took on tour with us decided to be a prissy asshole. That's okay though, because as Josh put it, it was bound to happen anyway, so why be that bothered by it. We had an amazing trip to Ucluelet. Swam in the ocean, illegally camped on a beach by this gorgeous lake, and cooked fresh sockeye salmon on a fire. It was beautiful. Wells was also amazing. Though I spent the better part of it drunk, dreading having to talk to/play with certain individuals. It wound up being pretty comical, despite probably not being my proudest moments ever.

Being home has been weird. Having to get used to not driving for 8 hours every morning was harder than I thought. Also, my bike was stolen so I have no means of transportation. Tonight, Josh and I are taking a red eye bus to Merritt to get our van. The transmission SHOULD be fixed, unless the mechanics forgot to drive it before calling us LIKE LAST TIME. But that's a whole other story.

In other news, I've rekindled my love for the Rolling Stones. If you ever doubt their greatness, just look up "Girl with the Far Away Eyes" on youtube, and you will understand.

July 19th - Medicine Hat

So we didn't die getting to Brandon, and are now roosting in Medicine Hat. We're playing at a former strip club turned music venue. The stage is made of lights and it's pretty nifty. Not many people came but it's okay. Tomorrow we go to Lethbridge, where we play a show and get to see Joyce Kwan. I am excited.

July 12th in Montreal

So yeah we're in Montreal now. I don't speak any french, only Justin does. We played an awesome show in Winnipeg, and managed to not run out of money until two days ago. We are playing at Le Cagibi tonight, this wicked cafe that I am currently sitting in. Sushi in Ottawa sucks if you go to the first place we went to and spent too much money at. We stayed in the van last night, and camped the two nights before. We also slept in the sketchy basement of the Townehouse in Sudbury. It smelled like urine.