Inlitterati lumen fidei

Fuck the Theologians. They don't know nothing about anything those fucking pricks. I just wrote a paper on Augustine and Aquinas and lets just say I'm a tad bitter because I don't believe a single word either of them said. My brother sent me a great link from Pharyngula's blog, so I'm posting it here in case anyone will read it.

School is going well. I got 5 assignments back and they were all A's so I'm celebrating by doing more homework! As you can plainly see, I'm even more boring than ever before...

Scratch that last post...

People who encourage voting conservative piss me off more :( Sometimes I think there should really be IQ requirements for voting...

People who won't vote piss me off.

I'm sitting on the CFUR couch listening to some guy rant about how he's exercising his democratic right by not voting. He claims hating every party as his excuse. If every asshole who told me they weren't voting would vote against Harper maybe his stupid arts funding cuts WOULDN'T happen. I'm so choked about that. Enough people are stupid enough to either a) vote FOR him or b) NOT vote at all? No wonder North American politics are such a joke. If there two conservative figure heads in power by the end of this year, I will have pretty much lost all faith in this continent. Harper will stop giving artists funding, Sarah Palin will ban homosexuality and abortions and make every woman wear make up, compete in beauty pageants, and shoot fully automatic assault rifles in bikinis, and I'll probably resort to complete hermitude or leave.

haha whoops

So I pretty much suck at keeping up to date with things. Last I checked, we came home from tour in one piece. Though, some of us in different vehicles. It was a fun trip for the most part. Shit really hit the van on our way to Vancouver when our van broke down and someone we took on tour with us decided to be a prissy asshole. That's okay though, because as Josh put it, it was bound to happen anyway, so why be that bothered by it. We had an amazing trip to Ucluelet. Swam in the ocean, illegally camped on a beach by this gorgeous lake, and cooked fresh sockeye salmon on a fire. It was beautiful. Wells was also amazing. Though I spent the better part of it drunk, dreading having to talk to/play with certain individuals. It wound up being pretty comical, despite probably not being my proudest moments ever.

Being home has been weird. Having to get used to not driving for 8 hours every morning was harder than I thought. Also, my bike was stolen so I have no means of transportation. Tonight, Josh and I are taking a red eye bus to Merritt to get our van. The transmission SHOULD be fixed, unless the mechanics forgot to drive it before calling us LIKE LAST TIME. But that's a whole other story.

In other news, I've rekindled my love for the Rolling Stones. If you ever doubt their greatness, just look up "Girl with the Far Away Eyes" on youtube, and you will understand.

July 19th - Medicine Hat

So we didn't die getting to Brandon, and are now roosting in Medicine Hat. We're playing at a former strip club turned music venue. The stage is made of lights and it's pretty nifty. Not many people came but it's okay. Tomorrow we go to Lethbridge, where we play a show and get to see Joyce Kwan. I am excited.

July 12th in Montreal

So yeah we're in Montreal now. I don't speak any french, only Justin does. We played an awesome show in Winnipeg, and managed to not run out of money until two days ago. We are playing at Le Cagibi tonight, this wicked cafe that I am currently sitting in. Sushi in Ottawa sucks if you go to the first place we went to and spent too much money at. We stayed in the van last night, and camped the two nights before. We also slept in the sketchy basement of the Townehouse in Sudbury. It smelled like urine.

July 5th - Edmonton

We just drove here from Grande Prairie. It took a long time and our van was slow again. A huge truck full of liquid nitrogen passed us and made me feel very anxious. I generally don't like it when crazy truck drivers who have been on the road since 4 that morning, and are potentially hopped on up on some sort of uppers, pass me in a vehicle with canisters filled with pressurized and potentially explosive gases behind it that are lager than my van. But that's just something I'll have to get used to. For now we have to figure out how to make some money in Edmonton before we leave for Saskatoon tomorrow.

July 4th - Grande Prairie

First tour update. We played at this place called Better than Fred's. It paid really well and they got us a hotel room. We are going to sleep well tonight and then cry tomorrow because we don't have a show in Edmonton :( But our pal Jeff is going to take cool pictures of us which will be awesome!!! Our van costs much in fuel. It is hot out. We saw a bear, a deer, and a moose today. Everyone passes us on the highway because we are slow.

Jesus Fuck

So it's mid June and my feet are getting really itchy. In just over two weeks we're leaving on a cross Canada tour. This one I really sincerely intend to document more fully than our last tour. We might even bring a video camera. And I'll of course be taking many many pictures. We'll even meet up with some friends along the way too, which should be very very fun. But there are still things to do before we leave. The recordings are nearly done, the band is practicing, and the VAN HAS BEEN BOUGHT!!!! It is a 1989 Ford Club Wagon and it cost us $800. I am entirely too excited. I've been obsessed with cleaning it, and it actually is a respectable tour van now. All it took was a bit of vacuuming, some spot shot, and Armour All. Armour All seriously does wonders. All that's left to fix is the stereo, because we can't drive over 10 000 km without music.

The tension of leaving is seriously starting to get to me. There are only 5 more July band rehearsals before we leave, two more local shows. 17 days and counting. Seven TEEN DAYS. I've never even been east of Saskatchewan, and we're going all the way to Montreal!! I am so so so so excited!!! If any of my readers are unknowns that are from out of town (which I kind of doubt but I'll put it out there anyway) here are our tour dates in case we're coming to a town NEAR YOU!!

July 3 Grande Prairie
July 4 Edmonton
July 5 Saskatoon
July 7 Winnipeg
July 8 Thunder Bay
July 10 Sudbury
July 12 Montreal
July 15Peterborough
July ?? Guelph (maybe?)
July 17 Brandon
July 19 Medicine Hat
July 21 Lethbridge
July 22+23 Calgary
July 24 Kelowna (maybe)
July 25 Vancouver
July 28 Duncan
July 29 Vancouver AGAIN
July 30 Kamloops and Wells (Aug 3)!!!!

SO EXCITING HOLY COW!!

<3 )~ a mouse for Mitch.

It's a beautiful day outside, and right now I'm trapped in my basement dungeon office pretending to be doing work. It's technically lunch time right now, so I think it's okay for me to be blogging. It's a shame I'll be too busy the rest of the day to get out and really enjoy it.

This morning I actually got out of bed almost at a respectable hour and hastily biked to work, neck and neck with a vicious rain storm that insisted on spitting on me. I've been biking a lot lately as my car is no longer insured or registered in my name. Also, I like to think I'm environmentally consciencious. It's been fun though, and I feel a lot better being active. Also, my bum looks different which is a perk I suppose.

Yesterday was pretty fun, as Josh and I went on an epic quest to find a tour van. We found two pretty good candidates so it was a worth it. Meanwhile, the tour is looming like a frighening goliath that still needs to be tackled. Tour dates are coming together, recordings are getting underway, and other plans are being planned (such as beer and wine production) but much work is yet to be done. The anticipation just kills.

I finally bought a new notebook. It wasn't that long ago that I would consistently write something in a notebook every day. Lyrics, poems, rants, observations, what have you. It's still completley blank. New notebooks are kind of intimidating if you haven't written in a while. I used to love that feeling of getting a new one, I went through them so quickly. Fresh pages are so beautiful, and smell so clean, I just love it. It's almost a shame to write on them, but it's completely worth it when you finish it, and every page becomes soft and worn, with ink blotches and finger prints and words and words and words and words.

I think I broke my cell phone. I dropped it on my bathroom floor and it exploded into three pieces. I snapped it all back together, but it's not taking every call I receive, and I keep getting random voicemails out of nowhere. Nick might be getting a new phone from My Josh the cell phone salesman pretty soon, so I might buy his for $50 and some romanian shortbread. I dug out the recipe the other day. I feel prepared to bake a storm of deliciousness.

I hate writing when I can't rant about things that are actually on my mind, so I'm going to stop here. It's a good start, see if I can get back into the swing of things.

Just to piss off Jeremy....

YAY RELIGIOUS PROOFS ON SATURN......

Slow posting.

But this should totally make up for it:





Thanks to drunken Marcy for sharing it with me.

Travels!!

So I'm in Vancouver right now on a family trip with my family. Obviously I'm super busy with incredibly fun activities to keep me busy which is why I have absolutely no time to write on my blog. In actuality I'm sitting in a hotel room waiting for someting fun to happen. Since I eat meat again we're going to go to Samba's and indulge in a lot of flesh. It's pathetic, I've only been gone 8 hours and I already miss Josh, and want to be on tour again. We'd at least be doing fun things together. I'm pretty sure my brother doesn't find looking for old records and used books particularly interesting. Tomorrow should be more fun I'm sure, and Sunday is going to be great because I'll get to see Marcy probably and Alycia for sure. Anyway, I'm going to try and find soemthing fun to do, which will probably be watching cable, but hopefully

Life on the Fringe....

This weekend saw a huge change of scenery for me. Josh and I moved from our cozy comfortable home in Footsville, so a larger, less stylish abode a stones throw away from Cracktown. The previous tenants having been evicted--they sold crack, didn't pay rent, and were involved in a police raid that ruined several parts of the house (namely doors and drywall)--and later shot outside of a Moxies ("supposed" gang hit (as if this warrents any speculation....) Also, I doubt any romanian gangs were involved, in case Marcy was wondering) So after all of this, the house was left in the hands of the insurance company to fix up.
Needless to say they didn't do the best of jobs. The house reaks of linolium and latex paint, and the cupboards were full of mice feces (until I cleaned them last night with the help of Josh's unbeleivably nice Mom)
So I'm afraid of being shot, and I don't like being home alone, so I've been spending a fair amount of time in the basement. At least we can steal a strong internet connect. Suh-weet.

Oh no....

I'm facing the possibility of having to get rid of my car soon. I'm saddened by this. I've had many good times in that car, and I'm sadly very attatched to it...but it's also a Grade-A P.O.S. and I'll save money by not having to pay insurance and fuel....ho hum, what to do.

Okay...

...so La Boheme wasn't that bad. It's finally over, and now I have the new stress of this Coldsnap catastrophe to deal with. I'll probably talk more about this later, but it's a huge headache. But it's jump started the band into getting full arrangements started. We have a wicked drummer (Justin Arding) and an equally rad bass player (Robin Miller) We are impressed and happy. Josh just said the drums in one of the songs is like sex. I agree.

List

Things I like:

-Ferry terminals
-Watching vinyl spin
-Eating just enough food to be full, but not feel gross
-Josh
-Reading my brother's blog
-Cold beer on a hot day
-Dry wine on a cold night
-Fuzzy slippers
-Summer
-Evenings when I don't have rehearsal

Things I dislike:

-Playing in a pit orchestra for ANY opera. No exceptions. I don't care how well bathed everyone in the orchestra is, when you cram 50 people into a tiny sunken box below a stage and make them play La Boheme for three hours, it won't smell nice, and it will be unpleasant for everyone involved.
-Shoulder cramps from playing cello

No phone, no pool, no pets, ain't got no cigarettes

Christmas is soon, Nutcracker has started and thus, a barrage of tiresome rehearsals and awkward 20 minute snack breaks. I still need to go Christmas shopping, but between work and symphony I have no time, so we'll see how this goes.

Big plans for recording have been suggested, and it's got me excited. I haven't been excited about music in a long time, so this is a good sign. I just want Nutcracker to be finished so I can sit down and write. My brother is also writing a short story, and I'm really excited for him too. I'd been in a real rut all through the fall; a paranoid, agoraphobic type rut, where I was afraid of highways, children, the elderly, sudoku puzzles, movies with Joe Pesci, and sex because somehow, they all reminded me of my mortality. But, I feel like that's somehow passed. My feet are getting itchy again, I can't wait for summer, and travelling. But, at the same time, I'm happy with the snow.

50's music ftw.

Also, I'm stil bitter about not getting to ride on the water slides. Brunch and swimming at Ester's Inn has been suggested, but I doubt it will smooth things over. Oh well.

Hey Shopkeeper can you help me, please.

Bazooko Circus is what the whole
hep world would be doing Saturday
night if the Nazis had won the war.
This was the Sixth Reich.


On Friday, Josh and I embarked on a journey to Edmonton to play a show at the Blackspot Cafe. Driving his Mom's gutless '99 civic, with no music save for radio and five Wilco albums, filled to capacity with our meager possessions, we forged east through mountains and plains to play a completely unpromoted show to an audience of roughly 10 (including the venue staff...only four people paid to get in).

But that's all okay, because like any great adventure, a lot of other great stuff happened. And of course, greatness came not as a result of our reason for leaving, but of the things we encountered on the way.

Condition on the way there were nice, and the drive was pleasant and uneventful...until we reached Edmonton and I realized forgot our itinerary at home, and had no idea what hotel we were staying at. After realizing that going to every hotel downtown with the words "Inn" in the name, and asking if I had a reservation wasn't going to work, I bit the bullet and called home to get all the information.

We checked into our hotel, drove to the venue (which was located next door to two sex shops, and directly beneath a "massage" parlour) played our show, made $28, and went out for drinks with two of our friends from Edmonton. We went to White Ave, and proceeded to a bar that was a lot like Sgt's, where some scary bar patron made a scene about charging his cell phone, and then grabbed Josh's crotch and winked at him. We left shortly after, and retreated to our hotel.

We had big plans for our second day in Edmonton. They involved going to music stores, trying out fancy equipment, and then going to West Edmonton Mall and playing on water slides.

Now, let me be frank. I hate West Edmonton Mall. I've been there only a few times, and have hated every second of it. So much so, that I believe I suppressed traumatizing memories of it from previous visits, which caused me to think it was tolerable to be in, and thus allowed me to convince myself to go there again.

But it'd be worth it for the water slides, just for them, and them alone. I could brave the American Dream, the huddled masses, the smell, the Christmas music, the frightened caged animals on display for public enjoyment, the scary salesman popping out of trap door kiosks trying to get me to sell myself for whatever peddling sell phone credit card insurance scam they're pushing. I could stand watching corpulent patrons eating sugary treats while waddling down some fabricated version of Bourbon St. with giant multi-faced porcelain jesters, enforcing some sort of brainwashing technique on every man woman and child that sets foot in that horrible place. I'd resist the urge to throw a baby carriage into the sea lion pen, or spit in the face of every elderly person I cross paths with, or punch ANYONE who carelessly bumps into me, or steps on my toes without so much as an apology or nod or even recognition of my existence despite having made slight physical contact with them, or curb stomp with no regard if someone makes so much as eye contact with me, or appears to be smiling, or happy, or to some degree not ill at ease for being in such a giant hell hole. I'd be able to maintain composure before completely degrading to some wild beast, unable to speak properly, my eyes glazed over and glossolalia being the only audible noise from my foaming mouth. I wouldn't wind up being another taser related casualty when mall security can't contain me, and police have to become involved after I climb onto the pirate ship and start urinating all over anyone who gets below me. It wouldn't happen, because I wouldn't allow it to get to that. I would maintain my calm.


Nearly. Before even setting foot in the mall, I was already sick of it. Probably burned $10 in fuel, and 30 minutes just trying to find a god damned parking spot. Then, as soon as I set foot in the mall, my pulse increased from a normal 70 bmp to something close to 120. A cold sweat set in, and my breathing became shallow and loud. My immediate instinct was to run full speed, darting wilding from side to side as a safety precaution, but I realized it was wiser to not make a scene.

We had three priorities:
1) buy shorts for swimming in.
2) find the water park and go swimming
3) leave as fast as we can

Avoiding any trendy stores, or places that were playing loud irritating music, we spent what felt like no less than 40 minutes trying to find a cheap store in which we could buy swimming shorts. After finally finding a Zellers, we spent $20 on two pairs of shorts. After getting lost repeatedly, and picking up a map, getting confused by the map, and then figuring the map out, we sort of figured out where we were. We had to walk towards the pirate ship, which was at the opposite end of the mall as the ice rink, which at that moment had a giant Zamboni smoothing out the ice (I fantasized running over several people and smashing through a wall with it but I calmed myself) turn towards the food court, walk around the flamingo cage, and then descend an escalator, into the pool entrance. Where we learned that it would cost $30 per person to go on the water slide, plus an additional $7 each to have a locker.

Talling up our expenses for this waterslide expedition, we would have had to spend over $95. Considering we made a total of $28 at our show the previous night, we both admitted defeat and walked away. At this point, I was so agitated by being in the mall, that I was literally ready to punch the next motherfucker who touched me. Or spit in their face. Or both. Or just push them over, and them kick them and spit on them and tell them what a fool they are for allowing themselves to be seen in a place such as this. But we didn't have time for that. We had to return out shorts, find exit #56, get to our car, and leave this place alive.

We got to Zellers, waited in line for ten minutes, only for them to tell us we had to go to customer service downstairs to makes returns, went downstairs, waited in line for another ten minutes, got our money back, and started for the exits.

Now the one thing about this mall that I both love and hate, is that it's damned near impossible to find your way out of there. I hated it because it prolonged my exposure to the mall, but I rest assured that if there is any sort of disaster, or fire, or terrorist attack, or if the roof collapses, or there's a tragic gas leak, or explosion, or flood, that a great many people in the mall wouldn't be able to escape, and many more would probably be trampled in the frenzy to try and find an exit. Ideally, it would resemble the L.A. riots.

In the time it was taking us to find the appropriate exit, I was getting more and more agitated. I think Josh sensed this because as I was reaching my breaking point, he started to singing obnoxiously, bought me a tasty cinnamon bun treat thingy that wound up smeared over both our faces, and we sang and danced our way out of the mall, into our car, and out of that hell hole into freedom.

Fuck Fox News.

They're kind of pricks.